Top 10 Reasons Why Republicans Should Not Let President Obama Speak To Their Kids

1. He's actually a secret agent for the Government of Hawaii and plans to move the White House to Honolulu.

2. He thinks Global Warming is real and may suggest the possibility that the Arctic is melting.

3. He might influence your kids to go to Harvard instead of Yale.

4. He's a recovering alcoholic that once went AWOL from the National Guard. Wait, nevermind. That was the last guy.

5. His middle name is Hussein, and although he, too, had nothing to do with 9/11, it’s rumored that he may have access to Weapons of Mass Destruction.

6. He wants to create a "Don’t Ask, Don't Tell" policy in the Senate.

7. He’s fathered two children in wedlock with a black woman.

8. He believes Dick Cheney is a threat to national security and has recently flip-flopped on his anti-torture policy.

9. If he keeps getting caught in public wearing ‘mom jeans' he could single handedly destroy the sanctity of marriage.

10. He's “so well spoken” for a black guy, you wouldn't want your kids to get the wrong idea.

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P.S. - If you're still unsure here's two very different takes on the subject...one from Glenn Beck, one from Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan.